understands me perfectly. I don’t always understand Him. but I love Him anyway. Sometimes He is very difficult to understand, and I say, "Lord don’t look at my tears. Please, look at me, in here, where I’m saying, Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord."The Lord has a right to leave me without a touch of His Presence for weeks or months at a time. I have my contact without my emotional reaction. If He wants to leave for China for three months, it’s all right if I don’t get blessed in three months, or even sing a little song while at home walking around.—I pay a price for every last thing I get from God. I pay a price for it, and I want to. He is not going to baby me.—We have to learn that, and that isn’t pleasant.—But God is doing something inside of me like a tornado. Then out of that I come out with: "The Lord is wonderful!—He IS wonderful!"The further we go on in God, the less He is going to honor that field of the emotions. We have to learn to walk with the Lord without His conscious Presence, which is very terrifying. Less and less are we dependent on our old devotional patterns that served for our living. How can faith develop if He is going to humor us along all the time?In those difficult places we will never be able to synchronize the state in which we are moving with our fluctuating emotions. They will not always flow together. We are trying to let our emotions run parallel with our experience.
